photo by Cathy Koetsier
Saturday, April 13, 2024
Less control, more learning
photo by Cathy Koetsier
Tuesday, April 9, 2024
Foggy confusion
People will come [to a discussion] and say "I've given him freedom, when will he self-regulate?" and I think (though I've never asked) they mean "When will he somehow do what I would have made him do if I were making him do things?" Some newer unschoolers are similarly waiting for their kids to ask to learn biology, or to wake up one morning eager to write a book report.
photo by Karen James
Monday, February 19, 2024
Compassion and kindness
I think that any time we get caught up in the idea that the child is "being disrespectful" (self-focused thinking) it can be harder to get back to thinking about what they are feeling, the need is they are expressing, and how to help them either fill the need, or cope with it being impossible right now, with compassion and kindness.
photo by Robin Bentley
Monday, January 15, 2024
Purposes and directions
Mindful Parenting.
photo by Renee Cabatic
Monday, December 18, 2023
Positive, inspired, happy
When I was 14 years old, I asked the leader of the Sikh ashram I was visiting what to do when I am feeling blue and he told me the scriptures advise meditation, service and giving gratitude. He told me that it is also the same advice for when you are happy.
This all helps me keep my cup full. That is what works best for me - keeping my cup full of positive, inspired, happy energy as much as possible. Life has its ups and downs, but I like to focus more on the ups and put myself in the best possible position to help myself out when I am down. I am more sensitive than most people, and I feel very deeply. If I had not learned early in life how to deal with my lows, life might not have been as wonderful as it has been.
(a.k.a. Rippy Dusseldorp)
but I also saved it at SandraDodd.com/cup
photo by Marta Venturini
Friday, December 8, 2023
Quietly, yourself
photo by Denaire Nixon
Wednesday, December 6, 2023
Paths made of life
Looking back, we can often see the path pretty clearly. But we can't look ahead and know what the path is going to be.
photo by a realtor, on an unschooler's property
Thursday, November 2, 2023
Trails connect to other things
The Roy Rogers Show used to end with "Happy Trails to You," like this:
photo by Gail Higgins
Thursday, October 5, 2023
More and better
- More.
- Better than school
- Making memories
SandraDodd.com/hsc/unschoolingwell
photo by Rosie Moon
Thursday, September 28, 2023
Thoughtful choices are better
but here's a link to
Making the better choice
photo by Sandra Dodd
Thursday, July 6, 2023
Options over rules
So here I have kids who can sleep as long as they want, who set their alarms and get up; who have all kinds of clothes and no rules, who dress well and appropriately to the situation; who don't have to come home but they DO come home.
Something important is happening.
photo by Karen James
Saturday, July 1, 2023
Stepping away from rules
To a question about how to move from rules to principles and choices:
Gradually, without fanfare, be more positive and more supportive of her desires and requests.
Here is an antidote to your no-speed-limits fear. It's called "The Beautiful Park" by Robyn Coburn. It's about people getting off bicycles to walk. I think it could replace your fearful background with something gentle and peaceful.
Read about why, and what others have seen.
Try it a little.
Don't expect her not to think you're crazy at first; wait a while.
Watch her reaction. Feel your own thoughts. Lay your fears out to dry in the air and sunshine.
photo by Cally Brown
Saturday, June 10, 2023
Help with decisions
photo by Jihong Tang
Wednesday, June 7, 2023
Which direction?
photo by Jihong Tang
Tuesday, May 16, 2023
Step up; step up again...
If you think “Ok, I’m either going to whack him or I’m going to yell at him,” yell at him—that was the best choice you had at that moment. And the next time, start with “yell at him." “Ok, I'm either going to do what I did the last time or something better. I'm going to yell at him or I’m going to go in the other room for a second." Go in the other room.
And the next time, maybe your choice could be either “go in the other room” or “I’m going to take a deep breath and make a joke about it.” Make a joke.
And gradually and incrementally you come closer to the place where you want to be. Beause I don’t think anybody can just jump from a lifetime of responses and expectations and behaviors and just pick some other person and just become that person. You can’t do that.
(I write better than I speak.)
photo by Rosie Moon
Thursday, April 27, 2023
Many tiny leaps?
Progress toward respectful parenting doesn't come all in one great leap from anywhere to peace all day and all night. It's a step at a time toward "better."
photo by Jihong Tang
Wednesday, April 26, 2023
Each person's learning
"Every person's learning about the world will be piecemeal - so it might as well be serendipitous and interest based."—Cally Brown
(original, on facebook)
photo by Rosie Moon
Tuesday, April 25, 2023
Be the safest place
(pages 72-73 in newer edition)
photo by Sarah S.
Tuesday, April 11, 2023
On changing
This is still an ongoing process for me. I had to re-train myself in a lot of ways. I had to learn a new language. I had to learn to SEE again. I had to learn how to communicate. I had to learn patience. I had to learn how to put others first. .....WOW! Sometimes an old thought will creep in. Sometimes I find myself answering a question in *teacher tone*...but it is so few and far between, and I am so quick to catch it that nobody ever notices except me!
photo by Marin Holmes
Monday, March 20, 2023
One special place
What are walls and fences made of where you are? Some other places, it is very different. How does the air feel and smell when it's cold? What's the first plant that might volunteer to grow in a bare spot? What little animals might you see, and what birds do you hear? What do people throw away that a tourist might pick up and keep? What food is readily available, that everyone knows how to make, and has the ingredients for on hand nearly always?
When you look as far to the east as you can see, what is the view? Turn around and look the other way, too.
Where you are is exotic to most of the rest of the world. Most other people will never see it. Knowing that your plainness is someone else's curiosity can make your life richer.
Sometimes, when you look, listen, taste, feel, smell, close your eyes and rest, remember that you are in one special place.
or Your House as a Museum
photo by Oshan in Sri Lanka
(click for a slightly wider view)